Can't be hateful, gotta be grateful

I already know I won't have the time or energy after Thanksgiving to be able to blog, so I thought I might as well share my thanks and reflect on this past year now. (My thanks extend to Ark Music Factory for another ridiculous music video just in time for the holidays.)

Ark Music Factory's "Thanksgiving Song"

First off, I'm still changing as I grow older, but I think I went through a very rapid transformation this past year since last year's Thanksgiving, and there are a handful of people and events to which I am extremely grateful for. I'd probably still be a lost sheep by now if it wasn't for everything that has happened thus far.

I hope this doesn't come off as dark as I think it will be, but I'm thankful for my very last break up with my then-boyfriend about 18 months ago. It wasn't a healthy relationship at all and because I wasn't the one who would break off, getting kicked out of the relationship pushed me to look at myself honestly in the mirror to accept that I need to be happy and strong on my own before seeking companionship. I remember it being a bit of a painful process, too, as the break-up was about a week before my Confirmation.

Around this time one year ago I joined a new youth group and we started praying through Thao Luyện Nhẹ Nhàng, or "Lightworks". Most people in the group were my age but we all came from different schools and I didn't know anyone very well, but as the program was progressing I gradually loved everyone and was able to relate to them on a spiritual level. We were all kind of lost sheep to varying degrees, and being able to pray for each other helped me to understand a lot more what it meant to be Christian. Lightworks finished after 14 weeks and by then I knew a little more solidly 1) What God's love was all about from Anno Domini, and 2) How to live.

These days I wonder what the kind of person I'd end up being in some parallel universe where I didn't have married, loving parents and God in my life. I think I'd have this never-ending craving to fit in with popular people in school and many of my friends would probably be the people I can't deal with in school right now. Or, surprise surprise, what if I was an incredibly good-looking boy that all the girls wanted me?!

Kurosawa (left) and Nakanishi (right) from Sukitte Ii Na Yo

Hypotheses never end for me no matter how grateful I am about my life...
Whatever I dream up, though, it never compares to the life I live today, because I'm sure I'm on the right path to being the kind of person I want to be.
I want to be the kind of friend who helps to make her own friends better people;
the kind of daughter whose mom can happily trust completely and support endlessly,
the kind of musician who performs with honesty and inspiring musicality,
the kind of teacher who has more to teach about the future and reality than her own actual subject,
the kind of girlfriend who can light a fire in her boyfriend's heart and inspire him to share a love with her beyond romance,
and the kind of blogger who can limit the sappy, poetic endings to only the most special blog posts.
(I try not to do this, sorry.)

Happy Thanksgiving, God bless.