Thoughts after watching American Beauty

“You can’t watch Rated R movies, Thu.”
“Got it, Mom.”
“Should you ever come across a sex scene, you know the drill. Duck and wait.”

I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did. I saw American Beauty because it was rated number five on the popularly referred-to list of top 10 existentialist films. Following film majors on tumblr gives me a lot of movie recommendations, anyway, and this is a big one, so I thought since no one cares enough to nurture my cultural exposure in the film department, I at least could.

And y’know what? I’m disturbed.

I’m not disturbed by the fact that this 40 year old man gets horny over his daughter’s friend and she seems loose and carefree about it, or that this man’s wife is a lardy chunk of psychotic, or even the fact that this family’s neighbor family has a closeted gay man with a handful of problems on his own and ends up killing this 40 year old man, Lester. Nope. I was disturbed seeing all these problems put into context in the daughter Jane’s life. She decides to leave with her boyfriend, Ricky, forever because the home’s no longer a place for her!
Having a family of my own one day is a real dream to me that by the time I’m blessed with one I hope I’m spiritually strong enough to keep everyone together, so naturally, how easily this family was able to crumble scared me away from that dream for… I hope I can just say momentarily.
However, this wasn’t the scariest part to me. The scariest was Colonel Fitts and his relationship with his son Ricky. So Colonel Fitts is the closeted gay man, which, regardless of him constantly publically bashing homosexuals as if he felt there was something more wrong about homosexuals than to be understood, I didn’t catch until the very end when he tries to receive a comforting kiss from neighbor Lester, who was ready to bang Angela and only Angela at that point. His poor relationship with his son was really saddening and even more so shocking to see and heartbreaking to try to imagine anyone living through.
When these characters are together there’s no love anywhere, and in the house with everyone altogether, there’s no life to be found either. All the energy in the family members, and I suppose in the entire movie as well, is in the motivation for or the actual partaking in sex.
That’s not love. That’s not family.

I think family is wonderful and perhaps the most beautiful thing that could ever happen next to a baby smiling while she farts in her diaper. And I know I really shouldn’t say anything because as I write this I am just a seventeen-year-old girl decorating her blog originally intended for music with potpourri blog posts, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t grown to see the value in a healthy, stable family and relationship and would like one for myself. This film just made even taking back the dream in dream-form seemingly impossible for me, too.

So, opinions on the actual film? Wonderful. Powerful. And scared me shitless – I don’t want to grow up.

A moment to fangirl

As I wait for my batch of tangzhong bread to proof the second time, I'm going to share something a little embarrassing about my musical interests in the past.

Oh, this? This isn't embarrassing at all hehe! Miyavi is such a role model in many ways for me and I admire the fact he was a late bloomer and grew to be such a successful solo artist in Japan in the visual kei genre.
What I find a little odd about me was my attraction to these guys:

So, if you don't know these men, the five on the left make up the band Alice Nine, and the right make up the band The GazettE.
It was during the time I was oh so depressed for no reason and preferred to dwell in this sadness and these guys helped me through it. That sounds a little on the wrong side, but here are the good points: they broadened my musical interests as all I would ever listen to was Jpop from my DDR games, they planted in me unrealistic dreams of being in a famous band in Japan and meeting them and marrying the front man in the right picture, and they got me to understand the role of the bass guitar. Only recently did I start to actually explore the world of bass music and the possibilities.

Essentially there isn't much different between these bands, and some would kill me for saying this, but hold on. They've got the same assets, pretty much. Excellent, bold singers, a balanced guitar team, (for the most part) metal drummers, and bassists who travel all around the world of bass in their music. They're pretty much the same when it comes to their studio recordings, but their live performances have a totally different feel and are so characteristic to each band.
First of all, the singer in Alice Nine was a horrible live singer when I was listening to him at the time. It was a turn off having to hear him sing a song I loved in their studio version. Eventually I turned to The GazettE and practically devoted my ears and my love to these people. The singer in the GazettE is pretty consistent in quality in both realms of performance, and I really appreciate that. Along with the bassist, Reita, who I fell in love with, I stayed with these guys for quite a long time.



And for the time that I was stuck in the genre, visual kei, I was so convinced throughout that The GazettE was THE band for me. Of course, their style has grown darker over time and I eventually left the genre for a while to explore Kpop, then hip hop, then jazz and funk and now I don't even know what I listen to. Now as I look back and listen to the songs I used to love, they don't reflect 100% what I loved about these men (both bands), so I went and looked for their live performances and now I've kind of fallen for the bassist in Alice Nine, Saga -- It doesn't seem much, but this changes everything I ever thought about Alice Nine. Saga is a wonderful bassist, and here's a video to show why.



And I recognize that this solo isn't that impressive, but coming from the assumption that all this guy ever played were chord roots (he always held his bass somewhat like Sid Vicious which made me think he was a pretty basic guy), I was smacked in the face with this and was left with a new admiration for him now, even more so than I would ever have felt for Reita in The GazettE.
As someone who's dabbed on electric bass and who has attempted to learn and play slap bass, I understand what it takes to play like that, and only once has Reita ever played in an almost Jaco Pastorius style, but I get a strong feeling from Saga that HE is my bassist. From Japan, at least.

And now I leave you with a couple of screen shots from his more erotic solo performances:

Asian sweets→Reason to excite

The school year's almost up and now we're onto final projects and exams. IB Chemistry's done with testing, finally, so now we're working on our projects in which one portion is FOOD CHEMISTRY. Well, we say food chemistry, but what I'm really thinking is party party party. Of course, I'll be doing an experiment on the effects different acids on egg-oil emulsion in homemade mayonnaise to get an excellent project grade, but what I really want to do is make my own mochi with red bean and taro paste!

Talida's recipe here

I absolutely love red bean and taro fillings in buns and especially mochi, but these Chinese and Japanese desserts are really expensive ready-made and packaged. I live in the DC area, and as disappointing as it is for the capital of the famously diverse US, if it were a truly diverse area, our Asian markets or even our Chinatown would have excellent foods at low prices. All the more reason to want to live in Chinatown Bronx. Anyway, now that I have reason to try to make this, I'm really excited to go shopping with mom to the nearby Korean market and get my hands on the freshest taro roots and a package of red/azuki beans. I mean, I guess I'm more than welcome to buy canned red bean paste and taro paste but that would burn a whole through my wallet and possibly my heart. (I hate hate hate canned anything and I especially try my best to avoid them when I know I can make them.)

"What's a taro? It's a delicious flavor that has a taste very similar to a Buttered Popcorn flavored jelly bean!"

 Anyway, from what I've learned after researching methods is that these paste fillings are extremely easy to make! With the help of sugar and heat these beans and roots can easily become pasty and sweet enough for just about anything! I highly recommend going out to any Vietnamese store to get red bean or taro bubble drinks. I took pleasure in going to Sweet Frog today and getting myself a mix of taro frozen yogurt with cappuccino frozen yogurt topped with everything my conscience tells me not to touch, ever. Not only does that make Sweet Frog my favorite place to go to now, but it also broadens my in-the-kitchen ambitions to make red bean and taro ice cream. Just like mochi, these flavors of ice cream are crazy expensive, too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a little too cheap for my own good because I fight with myself when I buy a standard box of four sticks of butter for about $4 and then my friend tells me that that's $1 per stick of butter and that that's standard. And you'd think I'd learn to accept 'standard' but for something like butter, each time I go shopping I cannot stand facing the reality of its price.

I'm sorry that there isn't much to today's post other than to share my excitement and readiness to start cooking! Once I start I will definitely take photos and blog more. Till then!

Mother's Day Soufflé

My brother always gives Mom breakfast in bed and every year it's an omelet. Every year I try and hope to make some French dessert but I never seem to get around to doing it so I end up drawing a stupid looking card, which to her is acceptable.

This year, though, now with lots of experience from my last spring break, I decided to make her and Dad soufflés along with breakfast. To my surprise it was really easy... as easy as just baking chocolate mousse. So, while that's chocolate soufflé, I decided to make her vanilla soufflé with the limited ingredients we had, and after looking at recipes from all over, here's a basic one I find incredibly easy and satisfying that I'd like to share!

Serves 5 people

• 1.5 cup milk
• 3 tbsp granulated sugar
• 0.25 cup all purpose flour
• 4 eggs (separated)*
• 1-3 tsp vanilla
• 2 tbsp butter

 *Large eggs would be best so as to get more egg white to whip. It's the same rule with chocolate mousse, the more whipped egg whites, the better... can I call that the French cooking paradigm?

Instructions:

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, mix 1/3 of the milk, 2 tbsp sugar and the flour. As it thickens, pour in the remaining milk and continue stirring until blended. Take off heat.
2. Pour in egg yolks, butter and vanilla and mix so it's blended. Set aside
3. Whip egg whites to soft peaks, add sugar, then continue whipping to stiffer peaks.
4. Fold in whipped egg whites to the mixture until they are evenly blended.
5. Pour into buttered and sugared serving cups or ramekins.
6. Bake at 350°F at for about 15-20 min. I really don't know. I would suggest keeping an eye on it after 15 min. to determine for yourself when to stop baking because they rise and it gets a little crazy.

Dust with powdered sugar to finished this off! I also poured in some chocolate sauce just before serving, which is just

• 1 tbsp butter
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tbsp all purpose flour
• 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• 0.5 cup milk
• 0.5 oz. bittersweet/semisweet baking chocolate

in a saucepan over low/med heat until blended. This can be kept in the refrigerator but to reheat, heat it double boiler style. The soufflés should be eaten fresh out of the oven, though...

Happy baking!

Crunch mode for the next year

Bach Double (me on the right); photo by Troung Ly

Two nights ago was my orchestra's last concert of the school year and I'd like to say it went well, but y'know, we're our own toughest critics. I got to play the Bach double with my new friend and stand partner who's three years younger and has the performing experience of a 30 year old woman, and our two top cellists played Vivaldi's double concerto. That said, this was a year packed full of solos! From Corelli's Christmas Concerto, to Villa-Lobos' Bachianas Brasileiras no. 5 and to the two double concertos, it was a great year with the orchestra and I had a lot of fun. I don't have videos, darn, but now I've got a couple of impressive titles to add to my known repertoire list for my GMU School of Music application!


I've given some thought about music after high school and I finally realize it's a lot of money to invest, considering I've got two siblings who would probably like to do something spectacular in college or go out of state as well, but it's unfair to close the door to music if it's something I really love. So, after spending this entire year arguing with Mom about what to do in college, what school to go to, and what is possible or impossible with our financial status, we finally agreed to either GMU or JMU simply because they are willing to give scholarships to musicians going into music as a minor. And that's wonderful news! Knowing I've got 8 years of experience and only now am starting Mazas etudes and Carl Flesch's scale system, I've chosen my two audition pieces -- one memorized -- now so I could perfect them and memorize them in the summer, along with scales, to hopefully blow the judges away by late fall. College auditions would probably be my fifth audition EVER which is pretty exciting, especially since I know what not to do after realizing I crapped all over the last two in my life -- Governor's School for the Arts and District Honors Orchestra (but I made it!). The two auditions I plan on going to just before college auditions are Districts again and Regional Honors Orchestra, and because I at least know that I'll make it to Districts, half of the worry's gone. :)


Logging off now to start my self-scheduled music theory lesson plan using Ralph Turek's The Elements of Music II because hey! Not only do I have auditions to worry about next year, but also the IB Higher Level Music exam!

<sarcasm>I love facing the reality of my choices!</sarcasm>

Oklahoma! feelings and lots of photos

Wolves vs. Beast

It's a little saddening that I wasn't even into musical theatre until I signed up to be in pit orchestra for Beauty and the Beast last year. It was a lot of fun getting to be a part of a production and also really challenging when it came to learning the seemingly endless music in a short amount of time. What I gained from it was the appreciation for musical theatre and the magical power to learn to play really tough music in a week.

This year, my school did Oklahoma! and I was so psyched from the beginning of the school year to be a part of the pit orchestra again, but because of grades slipping here and there from last year, I wasn't allowed. I was allowed to see the show, though, so I went on the second night.

"Oh What a Beautiful Morning"

Ado Annie and Ali Hakeem

"Pore Jud is Daid"

From the opening scene to the end of the first act, I was in tears already. I think it's absolutely to cry tears of joy when something is really touching, but I was constantly in tears and sniffling. A little uncalled for, and to those of you who know Oklahoma, I should have been saving the tears for the second act, right? Well, you can't hold in good feelings for something, especially if it's well deserved! Not only was the acting and singing superb, (reviews here), but the tech crew did a wonderful job, too. Transitions and layout was so simplistic yet effective. I had heard about the projector idea a little bit before, but I had no idea how the crew would set it up, so when I sat down to the opening scene I was really impressed.

One thing that was unanimously agreed on was how well our school handled the dream sequence ballet. In the 1998 show with Hugh Jackman, Laurey really had to be the one to dance in her dream, and the actress who played Laurey in our production is not much of a dancer. Now I see that the cast is lucky to have a Laurey double to do the dancing for her, with an added effect of making it apparent to the audience that the dance is a mere dream of Laurey's when they see two Laureys on stage. (Pictures below.)

Curtains fall when Laurey wakes up and intermission begins and I run through the "Cast and Crew Only" door to give all my friends warm hugs! It was a lovely first act and I was waiting for more. I really didn't know what to expect other than the musical numbers, so Jud's death came as a surprise, y'know, along with the marriage proposal and the Oklahoma hello kisses (PICTURES BELOW).

I definitely felt something genuine in the second act, not that the previous wasn't either, because both were, absolutely, but I felt something stronger in the second act. Perhaps it was the drama, perhaps it's just the fact that it was the closure act. I really have no idea; I'm not one who studies musical theatre, though after this performance I may decide to in the near future! And did I say that I was in tears throughout the first act? In the second act "I was in tears" is an understatement. My sister who was sitting next to me was really embarrassed to be, I could tell. So that's that. I've got loads of photos below! Click to enlarge :]

Curly enters Laurey's dream

 

Jud enters dream

Everything's sexy in Jud's dance

Wakey wakey!

Second Act! 

 

This here's a PARTY!

 

Persian goodbye

Oklahoma hello!

Oklahoma O-K!

And now I leave you with my favorite number!